Generation Z and the Craft of Expert Houdini

Gen Zers don’t work in jobs; they date them. That’s the deal with them in the workplace.
And if things don’t feel right after the first ten minutes, it’s like a horrible Tinder date: they’re plotting their getaway.

Scene One: The New Employee

Time: 9:30 AM on Monday

Supervisor: “Aarav, I’m glad to have you here. Pleasure to have you join us.
Aarav (Gen Z, recent grad): “I’m grateful! May I enquire about the WFH policy, though?
Supervisor: “Since our business is office-based, so”
If you were Aarav: “Ah, I see. That’s quite concerning. To be able to adapt is precious to me. Is it possible to log in spiritually only?

“Exploring new opportunities.” is the LinkedIn status that Aarav had changed by Friday.


Scene 2: Talking About Promotion

Mehak, it’s been three months, the manager said. You’re just starting out.
“I believe I am deserving of a promotion,” Mehak said. With my camera turned on for two of the three Zoom calls I participated in.
“But you still haven’t closed a single deal,” the manager said.
My name is Mehak. The three inspirational videos I sent to the company WhatsApp group were my own doing, though. Building culture is what that is.


Scene 3: The Regulatory Meeting

Head of HR: “Before Friday, could you kindly update the report in the shared folder?”
Han (Gen Z): “Um, I don’t see why I can’t just direct message it on Instagram. Documents seem so… 2010!
Reason being: HR Head: “That’s not the way corporate reporting is supposed to work!”
“Exactly,” Rohan said. Corporations are collapsing for that very reason. Trouble, uncle, trouble.


The Olympics of Job-Hopping

Employment lasted for decades for boomers. I think most millennials gave it a go for two or three years. Generation Z? Their CVs resemble train schedules: I’ll be freelancing for three months here and two months there.

Human resources refers to this phenomenon as “attrition.” For The millennial generation refers to it as “networking.”

 Career Goals vs. Actual Compensation

Tell a member of Generation Z what they can expect to earn, and you’ll get answers that sound more like cricket scores.

Your request is for twenty-five LPA, the manager said. However, this is just your sixth month here.
Candidate from Generation Z: “Indeed, however, I have viewed a leadership video on Coursera. Twice.”

The Comedic Line

Generation Z isn’t sluggish; they simply dislike things that require effort without immediate return on investment. As early as lunchtime, they are hoping for a podcast agreement involving “quitting toxic workplaces,” applause, and an impactful performance.

I understand how annoying it is. However, it’s also quite humorous. Because they’re already using Canva to create their departure emails, while we’re still in the process of generating their ID cards.


What is the takeaway?
Avoid hiring a member of Generation Z. To save time, just have the “relieving letter” template on hand.

© Dr. Pratik P. SURANA (Ph.D.)

Quantum Group.

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